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Don’t Do This: Christmas Card Edition

November 22, 2011 by 1,075 Comments

Last year, the Christmas card I sent out had a picture of Dave and I in Jerusalem with the caption, “This picture is to remind you how good looking we are…and oh yeah, happy holidays.” I considered that a good start, but lacking the smack in the yuletide I wanted from a card. You know, one of those cards that you open and it says “MERRY THIS! DOUCHE BAGS!” Hallmark, get on that.

This year, we have a baby, which means we have a hilarious new (albeit expensive and pooping) prop. I wanted a picture of her screaming with the caption, “Have a gay old time!” Dave said no. So, then I proposed a super awesome idea that may or may not have involved a gun and some swear words. As you can imagine, that didn’t go over well either. But I took it to Twitter and now the inestimable Sheena Green is working on a prototype. And I’m so excited. As anyone should be when faced with the prospect of a bloody, Bruce Willis Christmas card with guns. (AWESOME? I know. What is Dave’s problem?)

The picture above was what I considered to be a compromise, but Dave said he didn’t negotiate with Christmas card terrorists.

So, I’m still working on it.  I won the Minted.com giveaway over on Galit’s fab-freaking-awesome blog (it’s the kind of blog other blogs want to be when they grow up). Which means that Dave can’t even pull the money puppet strings. So, stay tuned.

In the meantime: What’s your Christmas card going to look like?

Every(ish) Monday, I am going to post parenting fails from around the internet (and probably my life…okay, mostly my life). But I want you to contribute! Submit pictures/screenshots/videos to eclenz@gmail.com and together, we’ll all learn what not to do when you have a baby. 

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