Me: What if Ellis votes Democrat? You have to prepare yourself for that.
Dave: No.
Me: Honestly, David. She can make up her own mind.
Dave: That kind of attitude only enables liberal ideas to spread!
…
It’s that time of year, when friends and family take bets on whether my marriage can survive another Presidential election. Last night, after getting offended because I joked that the tagline of Romney’s campaign should be “When robots go sentient,” Dave tried to encourage me to be nice, play fair and “DID I SEE HOW THE PRESIDENT WAS RUINING EVERYTHING?!”
That was when I reminded him how during the last election we had to ban the words “pig” and “lipstick” from our vocabularies in order to sleep together. Which was harder than you think because we live in Iowa and all we do is eat pork. (Also, meth.) (Also, no, I will not stop meth jokes. They are hilarious.)
This year, we’ve already had to remove the words, “heathcare” “taxes” “robots” “vaginas” and “so’s your face.”
All we can talk about now is Elmo, who Dave wants you to know is RED LIKE A REPUBLICAN.
So, while you cast your lots…here are all the places I’ve been on the internet.
- Talking about reasons to have kids and…
- homeschooling over on Mommyish, where I am a new regular columnist! Wuddup.
- Divulging my wall obsession on Mental Floss.
- Talking about why I blog about my kid
- How I’ve become that awful parent who won’t stop boring you with dumb stories about my baby.
- Also, let’s go retro and link up to that article I wrote for YourTango that was syndicated on MSNBC about when to talk politics in your relationship. New answer: Never.
- And, it’s not by me, it’s by Sellabit mom, which makes it even better! Tips on surviving the election in a divided household. Hint: No comments about “legitimate sex.”
