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No Pants 2012: I Bought Underwear

August 10, 2012 by 838 Comments

Back in January, I gave up clothes shopping for a year. You can read about my journey here andhere. This post is part of my effort to reinvent my wardrobe and look good, without being a rabid consumer of cheap crap.

Underwear is the canary to the mine shaft of my body. The state of my underwear indicates whether we are safe for work or whether people just need to up and run for their lives. And ladies and gentleman, my canaries were dead. Not just dying but dead. Run for your lives.

When I started this whole no-shopping-for-a-year-thing, I didn’t really think through what would be going on with my undies.

And dead canaries means that things aren’t right. You aren’t okay. Some one is going to die. Even mine owners in West Virginia would advocate worker safety in these situations.

In general, I don’t really think much about my canaries. I just pick what is functional. What works. Clearly, I’m a dream boat to be married to. Yet, two weeks ago, as I was doing laundry, I was forced to toss some dead canaries. I mean, I tried to revive them. But the loss of elastic, the giant holes and Dave’s vomiting were making it impossible to justify putting them in the drawer.

In eight months, I’ve only bought one sweater (and spent no money!) And I’m determined to make this whole, no shopping thing work. But when I realized I only had five pairs of underwear in my drawer, not even enough to make it through the week, I had to buy some undies. When I asked Dave, I think his response was, “PLEASE! YES! PLEASE!”

So, I bought underwear.

I tried to use the principles I’ve learned from my eight months of no shopping. Get what is good. Buy what will last. Look for deals, but don’t just purchase because it’s cheap. Really, that’s how you end up with an extra-small jumpsuit that shows too much thigh in the back of your drawer because it was only $10. BARGAIN.

I did alright. $60 for 6 pairs, one bra and a Spanx. I think I could do better.  But I wasn’t a rabid consumer of cheap crap. Those cheapo polka dotted boy bloomers that previously would have tempted me because they were only $2, they stayed in the bin. But I didn’t overspend on ugly things either. Because, let’s just be honest. This butt is only getting bigger. Be afraid my canaries. Be afraid.

Also, can we just ponder the fact that I’ve given up clothes shopping for eight whole months?

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