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Sponsored: What Wrinkle Cream Do You Use? Because Holy Eye Wrinkles Batman

August 8, 2012 by 986 Comments


No teen mom’s eyes look like this.

Why yes, I was compensated for this post. But not nearly as much as you think. And really, I do heart my wrinkle cream. So there is that.

I gave up wearing my wedding ring at about 6 months pregnant. That was around the time my body decided to sprout a pregnancy-induced bloody tumor and every time I wore my ring it chafed my finger red, raw and bloody.

“Here is what your love does to me,” I said holding my finger aloft.

“Here is what my love does to you,” Dave said poking my super-big-are-you-sure-that’s-not-twins belly. Touche.

A few days after quitting my symbol of fidelity and baby legitimacy, I took my mobile command unity (read: laptop) to a coffee shop to get some work done. A table of women behind me were loudly discussing the TV show “Teen Moms.”

“Some people just are too young to reproduce,” a middle-aged woman wearing stone-washed jeans declared.

“It’s just awful!” Agreed another woman munching a scone.

I turned to survey the vitrol and the group silenced. They’re eyes fell on their scone crumbs. I turned back to my work. Silence, then…

“It’s just that these young unwed mothers don’t know things like not drinking caffeine. It’s so bad for your baby.”

The next time I slurped my coffee, I stood so they could see my fetus-laden profile.  And that was the most subtle comment. A cashier at Target asked in if “the father knew?”

“No,” I shook my head. “And I’m not going to tell him either. He told me he loved me!”

The cashier nodded sadly.

These days, no one confuses me for a teen mom. Mostly it’s because I wear my ring, and because no teem mom would wear jeggings or have these eye wrinkles. Mostly the eye wrinkles.

And I have reached the point in my life when washing my face with hand soap and lotioning with Vaseline isn’t going to cut it. (Why yes, that was previously my beauty routine. I should take a picture so y’all can pin that shiz.)

Around the same time, a friend asked for wrinkle cream lotion suggestions on her Facebook page, and being a social media ninja, I stalked that thread and bought Olay Regenerist MicroSculpting Cream. For two reasons: 1. Coupon. 2. Coupon.

And I love it. I’m not saying my skin is once again the source of ageist comments, but I did get carded while on vacation. And the girl at the grocery store, when checking my ID said, “Whoa! I would have totally only pegged you as 28.”

I’m 29. So, thank you?

Anyway, I am writing all of this, because well, I do heart my face lotion and also because P&G, that source of all those sob-inducing Olympic commercials (No, YOU are the sap!) just launched an online store. (Hooray for internet consumerism!) and you can get you some Olay Regenerist MicroSculpting Cream for 10% off now through August 31, free shipping (hooray!) and loads of good deals. If you like, and you’ve accepted that you no longer look like a child bride, go get you some Olay Regenerist MicroSculpting Cream (notice the not-so-subtle links? CLICK those and I’ll get an affiliate sale. Or not. Do what you like. That’s how the internet works, y’all).

But tell me. What’s your fave wrinkle cream? And more importantly, can I get a coupon for it?

 

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