Last week, I featured some pretty terrible ways to subjugate your daughter to sexist stereotypes on Halloween. But I wasn’t done. Oh no. While doing research, I discovered, four very awful costumes for grown ups that I thought I’d share. And two for kids, because, why not?
I’m a huge believer in screwing your kids up early. I mean, you are going to ruin your kids anyway. If you feed them all healthy and love them, they’ll grow up to chain smoke and eat Twinkies and wonder why they never got to go to space camp. So, it’s probably better just to ruin them right off the bat. Like taking things they love and making them the stuff of huge therapy bills.
This isn’t so much sexy as it is disturbing. Imagine trying to tell your three-year-old why Elmo is coming out of mommy’s head, all night long.
You’ll never be able to read about Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Pot ever again.
After losing his mommy and daddy, Nemo had to grow up fast. Too fast.
It’s best to teach young men how to treat a ho early. Because nothing is funnier than sex slavery. Also, I included the whole screenshot, because I wanted you to see that you can get it in a child’s small. Some how that makes it worse.
The costume for parents who want their kids to work at Taco Bell for the rest of their lives.
Just don’t let your kids open the door.