Me: I’m nigh on 30 and my skin is worse than it was when I was 15. WHAT IS THIS?! It’s killing me. I just hate my face.
Me: UGHHHHHHHH. I’m just, dying!
Dave robotically pats my shoulder: I empathize with your face problem. We should do something to fix it. Do you want to buy something?
Me: Did you download ‘Empathetic Responses for Android Husbands’?
Dave: At least I’m better than Siri.