If you follow me on Facebook, I apologize. Mainly I apologize for the awfulness of page. But I also apologize because two of these are repeats. I’ve been compiling a list of Ellisms and these are the best ones. And yes, I realize these are a little, Ermagerh my kid is the best! Like the blog equivalent of sticking a “My kid is an honors student” bumper sticker on your car. But maybe also funny? I don’t know. I’m out of coffee. My judgement is off.
1. Yelling from her bedroom at nap time:
“Mom, can I wake up? Mom, can I wake up? LYZ CAN I WAKE UP!?”
2. Holding a bread stick from Little Ceasars.
“Look, I broke da bread like Jesus. Jesus broke da bread and didn’t fix it and gave it to da bears. Dat so naughty.”
3. After putting Ellis in time out for throwing her markers…
“Ellis, why were you in time out?”
“Because I hit baby Jude.”
“When did you do that?”
“Earlier. But he not cry, because he wike me.”
4. On religion:
“Jesus die and God take his shirt off and dat bery naughty.”
5. I told Ellis to get her booty down the stairs. She came down two steps, pulled down her pull-up and mooned me. “See dat booty. It comin down da stairs.”
6. Ellis and Dave watching the Vikings game. Dave yells, “Yay!”
Ellis looks concerned. Did dey frow nicely?”
7. ”Mom, you obey me so you won’t go to jail. God won’t protect you dere.”
Note to self: You were dumb for explaining jail to a two year old.
8. “Some day, I wisten to my mommy and daddy. Some day.”
9. “You wike ponies?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Gweat! Wet’s get one!”
10. Dave is an engineer and makes autopilots for airplanes. We tell Ellis her daddy fixes airplanes and she is continually awed by this fact. One day, as we sat outside eating lunch she looked up at an airplane in the sky and said. “Airplane, you go to my daddy. He fix you wif his Mouskertools!”