What Moms Do When They Are Alone

Disclaimer: Yes, this post is sponsored. And sure, I’m getting paid for it. But I honestly love my Cartwheel app and my dates to Target alone.

What moms do when they are alone in no particular order: 1. Sleep. 2. Clean up your crap. 3. Cry. 4. Eat all the candy. 5. Go to Target and stay there for a long time under the guise of running errands.

Target Photo

Breastfeeding sometimes makes me feel like I’m tethered to the wall. Want to have lunch? Sure let me ask my captors, the boobs.  Boobs, can I go out? What? Sure, you can leak every time we hear a baby cry as long as I can have two minutes without someone mauling me. Deal.

When I do get the chance to escape – when hungry babies have been satiated and the toddler is under adult supervision and I tear out of the house, shoving my coat on as I yell, “See you suckers!” and slam the door – when that happens, do I run to go frolic in a meadow? Get a massage? Do I grab some drinks with the ladies? Hell no. That would require pants and all I have are leggings and a sweater and shoes that might match.  I go to Target. Why? Coffee. Also, deals. Also, there is something so soothing about being able to browse aisles of attractive and affordable throw pillows that gives me an inner peace. Maybe the zombies will come. Maybe my kids will kick me in the shins when I get home, but I’ve got some coffee and a coupon for bras. Bring it on, Universe.

Basically, what I’m saying is I’m just one minivan and two soccer players away from suburban momdom. But, I’m okay with this. I’ve made peace with this aspect of my life one relaxing latte and Market Pantry box of brownie mix at a time. I remember my mom would go grocery shopping and be gone for hours. What took her so long? Why did a run for milk take two hours? Was she actually visiting her secret second family? What else could she possibly want to do away from us for so long? Now I am a mom. Now I understand. Now the chance to grocery shop alone feels like going to the beach after days of trench warfare. I’m covered in spit up, blood, and I smell faintly of fecal matter, but who cares? I’ve got coffee and coupons and no kids.

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping alone and while I was out at Target, I stood in line scanning my items with my phone in case the Cartwheel app had a deal and they almost always do. Even nursing bras, which almost never go on sale. And let me tell you about the time I was able to use a coupon for K-cups, plus they were on special, plus Cartwheel had 10% off. It was like the holy grail of momness. (Sidebar: Cartwheel  has more that 700 coupons to use on in-store purchases, and can be used on your desktop, tablet, mobile web or iPhone or Droid apps. You start with 10 spots to fill on your Cartwheel list, but you can get more spots by earning badges, which are awarded by reaching savings milestones–$10, $25, $50, I’m working on the $100–and interacting with Cartwheel (such as adding an offer from one of the app’s item collection to your list). I’m now addicted to getting badges because that’s how fun my life is.)

So, while I was scanning my app, a lady came up behind me with three items in her cart. “You can go ahead of me,” I said.

“Oh no,” she said. “I’m fine.”

“No, really. I’m out without my kids. I’ve got nothing but time.”

She laughed, “I have two-year-old twins at home. I’m staying here. Behind you. Because I’m on a date with myself.” She won.

 

What do you do when you somehow manage to leave the house alone? Leave a comment below and you will be entered in a drawing for a $1,000 Target GiftCard®. See the rules below.

 

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