This week parents everywhere did a collective head smack when they saw the tumblr “Reasons My Son Is Crying.” Because, yes! Toddlers are the fickle little dictators of their small nations, reducing parents to sycophantic yes-men just to get them to SHUT THE HELL UP.
I mean, parenting is a joy and a treasure…cherish something something.
Recently, my daughter has been throwing herself to the floor in this sliding-to-home-plate kind of move. It’s pretty hilarious, especially when she launches herself right off the bejeweled princess training toilet, sobbing, bare bum in the air. And I say to her gently, “If you want people to take you seriously, you need to put on pants.” Which might just be the best parenting advice I’ve ever given.
So here, as a tribute to that father’s brilliance, is my own list of things that have made my daughter not only cry, but throw herself to the floor sobbing. Sometimes without pants on.
1. She wanted strawberry pancakes
2. There were “too much” strawberries in her pancakes
3. I told her she could only have 10 more M&Ms
4. I wouldn’t let the pigeon drive the bus
5. I wouldn’t let her touch the electrical outlet
6. I made her wait until the cookies cooled to eat them
7. Birds were in her yard eating worms
8. Her hands got dirty when she threw herself to the ground in rage over the birds
9. I told her the baby wasn’t a sheep
10. Because I talked like a pirate
Also, a little bit of shameless promotion. I’m co-producing a local Listen to Your Mother show here in Iowa. So, if you haven’t seen me spam the internet about that, yet. You might want to head over to the site and oh, yeah, buy your tickets.
I posted about our baby name drama over on The Real Moms complete with a list of reject names so you can judge me for that.
Finally, a couple of my posts both here and for Mom.me were nominated for a BlogHer Voice of the Year Award, which was really nice. (You guys take Paypal, right?) You can follow those links to vote, if you want. Or if you want to send BlogHer an angry message about why I am awful, I think you can do that too. Either way, I understand. I believe you can tweet your rage to @BlogHer.
There are also a lot of other really great bloggers out there and if you love them you should vote for them.